This week Julia is getting evicted and our children lose the only home they ever knew. Sure Ben lived in our old townhouse for about a year, and the kids spent 3 days out of the week in my crummy apartment, but that house was really the only home they truly ever knew.
In the divorce proceedings, Julia wanted the home and I did not object. Hindsight, I should have, because I think I would have done better by the house.
Be that as it may, in the years to come, Julia will surely blame me for the loss of the house, so I want to put down all the facts as I know them, since they are fresh in my mind. Whose fault was it? There is a lot of blame to go around.
But first, a little timeline.
July 5th, 2008 or so – we separate. Julia wanted me to leave, for a trial period. And honestly, I wasn’t crazy about my relationship with her (more on that in another post) either. But I felt it in my heart, and I’ve told her, that if I left, that was pretty much it. Daya, a friend of mine at work, suggested that I rent a room from her ex-husband and whom I somewhat knew from previous dealings. We agreed on a price of $750, month-to-month, and I was off. Before I left, I offered Julia the following deal: for the time being I’d give her $7200 a month (out of my entire paycheck of $7800) and I attempt to live on whatever I can make doing side jobs. This was, of course, temporary, until she got onto her feet. In exchange, I’d be able to come over and see the kids anytime. Julia would be responsible for paying the mortgage.
Late July to mid August – I found out that Julia borrowed $100k from our credit line (thus maxing it out). Without my knowledge, of course. I never found out what she spent the money on.
October 17th, 2008 – I had a 5-way bypass surgery. A week later I was released. I went back to live with Julia because I could barely walk. A month later or so, Julia started demanding that I leave and go live elsewhere. I went back to live with Daya’s ex-husband, Wes.
December 28th, 2008 – Our relationship did not improve and Julia filed for divorce.
January 5th, 2009 or so – It seemed that there is no way that we can pay the mortgage and for my upcoming apartment. We start the process of loan modification. I suggested it before, but she did not trust the lawyer I found. Instead she found a loan modification company and decided to go with them. I paid them their fee of $3,500 and they were off. The point person or the owner (I never got the full picture), Brett Baughman, suggested that we skip one mortgage payment to get the bank to pay attention. I relayed this information to Julia. She never paid the mortgage again.
July 21st, 2009 – Divorce stipulation states that I owe Julia about $4k a month (in child support and alimony). The house is awarded to Julia. Although both our names are still on the mortgage.
July to December, 2009 – I attempt to help Julia with the loan modification. The banks are either missing information or documents, that Julia is either not providing them or is not providing the right docs or the bank is losing them. Towards the end of this time period, Julia and I had less and less contact. My emails and phone calls, asking for documents for loan modification, have gone unanswered. It seemed to me that Julia is on her own trajectory as far as the loan mods go. During this time, I also made one trial loan modification payment of about $2700 for Julia.
December 29th, 2009 – The banks decided to sell the house at the auction. Julia is out of town on a religious journey in New York, studying with some rabbi. When she comes back, she engages some lawyers and sues the banks to get the house back.
April 20, 2010 or so – all legal options have run out. There is an eviction notice – she has to be out by the weekend.
So let’s review, from July 2008 to July 2009, Julia was getting $7200 per month from me, plus $2400 a month or so from Cypress Equipment Fund (investment we made several years prior). So about $9600 a month. Keep in mind that between Feb 2009 and July 2009, not a single mortgage payment was made.
After the divorce stipulation, per the agreement I paid her $4000 a month. And usually, I’d give her an extra $1000 or so each month cause she is chronically short on money. And she continued to receive $2400 a month from Cypress. Still not a single payment or even an attempt to make one. All in all, from Feb 2009 till today in late April of 1020, not a single mortgage payment was made by Julia.
As a point of clarification, there were initially 2 mortgages. And the payment was almost $5k per month. Then when Julia withdrew $100k from our credit line, it added to the monthly payment.
So there was certainly money to pay the mortgage, or at least pay a part of it. There were also people attempting to arrange a short sale of the house, but Julia was determined to keep it.
Why didn’t we get the loan modification done? I certainly tried. However, Julia is huge into keeping secrets and everything was always a secret. Including her conversations with the banks, with the loan modification company, with everyone. So we had a massive lack of communication. I never knew what was going on, unless someone from the bank or the loan mod company would call or email.
So, whose fault is it that the house was lost? I don’t know. I think I did everything reasonable to allow Julia to keep the house.
No comments:
Post a Comment