On July 21st, 2009, I walked out of the court a happy man – the divorce seemed to be over, we agreed on pretty much everything, and the restraining order was dismissed with prejudice (in other words, I was vindicated). I even changed my status to single on Facebook.
The prelude.
The story of how we got there is long, fascinating and interesting. Or maybe not. As I mentioned before, when we split (temporarily at the time) in July 2008, we came to an agreement that I’ll give Julia $7200 a month (i was making $7800 at the time) and in exchange I’ll be able to come and see the kids and spend time with them and stay over anytime I wanted. Over time, this agreement pretty much fell apart. I mean I still gave Julia $7200 like clock work, but access to the kids was slowly eroding. First she demanded that I let her know when I am coming, then I could only come on certain days, then she changed the locks on the door and on and on and on. It was difficult to go on with the uncertainty of whether I’ll see the kids or not.
Eventually, this issue came to a head. I realized that with the access to Julia’s house limited – to see the kids, I’d need to get an apartment. And I set out to look for one.
This was January of 2009, I think. I called Julia’s favorite Rabbi – Sruli Zavdi and asked him what to do. The reason I called him is that I felt that he is the one person Julia looked up to and his voice carried authority with her. Plus, I always regarded him as a reasonable guy. Sruli suggested that he mediate the custody of the children until we have the actual court date, which would determine it permanently. Both of us quickly agreed to. Julia submitted to him what she wanted and so did I. There was about a 3 week period where we went back and forth. The Rabbi basically sided with me. I pretty much got all I wanted (except for one minor thing) – 3 days with the kids: Sunday morning through Tuesday night. Julia was angling for more days, but in the end I played the Sabbath trump card: Julia had to have the children on Friday and Saturday for the Holy Sabbath. I pointed out to Sruli that in the absence of a deal between the parents, the courts typically awarded the weekends to non-custodial parents (e.g. me, the dad). He impressed this upon her and she agreed.
I was actually stunned when Sruli told me that Julia agreed to it. I had never seen Julia agree to anything, ever!
Armed with this agreement, our relationship improved a bit, as the central source of arguing had gone out of the window. I also moved into my own apartment (about 5 minute walk from Julia) and things seemed to be looking up. And once I got my own apartment, Julia no longer allowed me to even come into her house. On one level, I was angry about it, because I’ve put in so much work into the house, on the other hand, I had a feeling of “we are finally separating for real”, which was a relief.
The coming storm.
The custody agreement worked reasonably well for a while. Not great, looking back on it, but it was not absolutely horrible either. On April 30th, we finally had our day in court. I came, reasonably confident, that we would settle everything that day, seeing how we already had the custody agreement (the most difficult part in my mind). Seeing how both of us came without lawyers, the clerk placed us in the “easy to resolve” bucket, assuming that because we are without lawyers, we don’t have much at stake. So before you even see a judge, you get to work things out with a clerk and then the agreement is simply presented to the judge for signature.
Once we sat down, Julia demanded that I only get every second Sunday. I could not agree to that. Julia told me that this is how she wants it on paper and that she still will let me have the children every Sunday. I smelled bullshit and refused. She refused to back down. Even if she believed it at the time, she could change her mind anytime and I knew that she would, as she did so many times before. The clerk told us that we need to agree on things like this when you are in the “easy to resolve” bucket and sent us home. The next hearing would not be until June 30th – a two month wait. I left the court angry and depressed. I was hoping to be divorced that day.
Rabbi Sruli called me to find out how things were going and I told him that Julia reneged on the custody agreement. He expressed chagrin. After that he basically never wanted to negotiate between us because he felt there was no point, since Julia broke the agreement anyway.
After that, the custody agreement was starting to break apart. Sometimes I wouldn’t get the children on my days and there was nothing I could do, since our agreement was not legally binding. My only recourse was to threaten to cut off the money (which also was not legally binding), which I never did. Our relationship went from bad to worse – we could barely stand the sight of each other. I resolved to change the way I give her money: instead of giving her money twice a month, I’d give her money every week, right after I got the children. So no children, no money. I never got a chance to implement this.
The hurricane.
The day was Sunday, June 21st, 2009 – Father’s day. I got the kids in the morning.
However, Julia had people coming from out of town on Monday, so she asked me (no, demanded) that I take the kids to her place at 9:30 pm on Sunday night, so that on Monday the kids could spend time with whoever it was, that was coming from out of town. I said ok, even though Monday was my day.
When I arrived at Julia’s place, she was extremely irritated, taking her irritation out on me and the kids. Specifically, she was upset by what she perceives as my “betrayal” (e.g. she thinks I was cheating on her during the marriage – I did not at all). Previously to that she was beating me over the head with this perceived betrayal for close to a week. In the course of handing the children over, 2 things became apparent:
1. Ben had forgotten his Nintendo DSi at my place.
2. Eli did not want to part with me.
In addition, Julia claimed that I had some toys of hers that children had brought over and she wanted them back. On that day, the children did not bring any toys with them (other than the aforementioned Nintendo DSi). I told her that I’ll drive home (we lived 2 minute drive, 5 minute walk from each other) and bring back the Nintendo DSi, and possibly look for any stray toys. Because my daughter did not want to part with me, Julia and I agreed that I’ll take her with me and she’ll spend a bit of time there while I am looking for the Nintendo DSi and the toys.
So I drove back home with Eli. When we arrived, Eli said that she wanted to lay down on the bed for a little bit and rest, as she was pretty sleepy. I said, Ok, but for no more than 5 minutes because I needed to take her back. I knew that it was a ploy on her part: she was angling to stay at my place. While she rested, I found the Nintendo DSi, then looked for other toys that Julia said I allegedly had. I found none of her toys, because I didn’t have any of her toys.
So I went back to the bedroom to prepare Eli for going back to her mom. She was pretty much asleep. As I was putting her shoes on, I heard a tremendous ruckus of my front door being slammed against the wall. I quickly closed the bedroom door and ran to see what was going on. Julia was in the house screaming at the top of her lungs “Where are my toys” or something to that effect. She started grabbing things off the table and throwing them in an effort to find some toy. She was stepping on and destroying things that I haven’t yet managed to clean up after the kids’ visit. As a result, several toys were damaged to the point where I had to throw them away. She attempted to grab my GameCube console as well.
I asked her to immediately leave the apartment 3 separate times in a firm voice. She continued her rampage in my apartment. So I basically pushed her out of my apartment as gently as I could and attempted to close the door. As I was pushing her out of my apartment, she resisted by sticking her legs and hands into the opening of the door. As I was closing the door, she unexpectedly pushed her arm inside the door opening one last time and the door bumped her on the arm. Eventually I managed to close the door. I then called the police to report the incident. Then I went back to the bedroom, finished putting the shoes on my daughter and then took her to my car, so that I would be ready to take Elizabeth to her mom’s place when police was done with the incident. I don’t think Eli saw anything, since she was almost asleep and the whole incident happened outside of her view. I guess we can ask her when she grows us. She probably heard the commotion, although I sincerely hope she did not and was fast asleep by then.
I got in the car with my daughter and waited for the police. Then Julia drove from behind and stopped her car right behind mine, effectively blocking it. Police arrived 2 minutes later.
Julia was literally yelling at the police officers. I am not sure what she was demanding. After she calmed down, the cops spoke to me. I was calm and collected and explained to them what was going on. They were under impression that Julia actually lived there. Once they understood, their demeanor changed. Julia screamed out that they should arrest me and they told her that she is the only person who can be arrested, since she broke into my place.
I gave Eli to Julia, then gave her the Nintendo DSi and Julia left. I went back upstairs to my apartment, cleaned up the mess and went to sleep. Later, when reading the police report, I learned a lot of interesting stuff. The cops asked her whether she wanted to press charges against me (e.g. she told them that I slammed the door against her hand) and she said no. Then 10-15 minutes later, (I am sure at Patti Lopez’s behest) she came back to my apartment complex and the policemen who were still sitting in their cars filling out paperwork or whatever they do noticed her and confronted her. They asked her where the children were and she told them that they are at home asleep and she came here to talk to the police. The police were not amused and told her that they won’t talk to her until she went back home (seeing how the children were there all alone). The cop then followed her to the house. When he walked in, he wrote this on the report (it was amusing to me when I read it): “She lives in a two-story upscale house. There was a large amount of toys strewn all around the house“. The reason this was funny to me is that Julia’s perceived reason for coming over to my place was that I needed to return some toy to her.
The next day, I went over to her place in the evening to try and patch things up. She did not even want to talk to me, but in the brief amount of time that we spoke (through the window, no less), the amount of invective coming from her really surprised me. If memory serves me correctly, we spoke several times after that as well about various issues.
The next Sunday, the 28th of June, she dropped off the children like nothing happened. The 30th was our court date. I went in without much hope. My plan was to simply ask the judge to decide for us on all counts and be done with the divorce. Again, we did not get to see the judge. The new clerk assigned to the case noted that we have no agreement on anything and that our divorce is pretty complex because of investments and custody, etc… Thus we would have to be moved from the “easy to resolve” bucket to a different judge that deals with more complicated matters. The new date would be July 21st, 2009 – 3 weeks from now.
I went home. I called Julia and asked her whether she wanted to work things out on our own. She simply asked whether I was home or not. I was. She said, she’ll be over. 5 minutes later she drove by with Patti Lopez and some black woman (Karen Hao, I found later) . The black woman handed me a stack of papers and sped off. Julia was sitting in the back seat and had the most evil smile on her face that I have ever seen.
The devastation.
I looked at the papers and realized that it’s a temporary restraining order. It alleged that I was a danger to her (because of the incident on father’s day) and to the children (not sure why). It ordered me to stay away from her and the kids until the hearing on July 21st. So our divorce hearing and the TRO hearing have been combined. I felt completely betrayed. So Julia and I were in court and when she didn’t get what she wanted she filed a restraining order. She further told the judge that she could not locate me (she was supposed to notify me) even though I was sitting right outside the court room where she filed the TRO.
I called Julia and said a few choice phrases. I told her that the deal between us was over. I would no longer give her any money, since she is denying me the children. I also told her that I’d turn off her phone (for which I was paying). I am sure she recorded me, since you are allowed to do that during the TRO period. I also told Julia that I felt Patti was behind it and I called her a few names too. Honestly, at that point, I did not even recognize Julia and thus the only explanation was that Patti was the one behind the wheel.
I have to say, I was completely crushed, like I’ve never been, not being able to see the kids for so long. I don’t think, I’ve ever been away from them for this long. Friends were trying to calm me down, saying that it’s all temporary, but it was difficult to see it that way at the time. My mom said the same thing as well – 3 weeks is not that big of a deal in the scheme of things.
I read up on TROs, posted a bunch of questions online, read the entire stack of papers from Julia…and realized the seriousness of the situation. The TRO hearing is really like a trial. If I am found guilty, the terms of the TRO (e.g. not being able to see the kids) could be extended for up to 3 years. That really did freak me out. Commenters online suggested that even if I did not want to have a divorce lawyer (I still entertained that idea), I should at least get a lawyer to stand with me for the restraining order part of the hearing. The idea made sense. The only issue was money – I didn’t have any.
Then an idea occurred to me: if I no longer had to give money to Julia, I’d be able to pay the lawyer. I thought I’ll give it one more shot. I rang up Julia’s mom, explained to her that I needed to talk to Julia because if lawyers get involved, neither I will get the money, nor Julia, nor the kids. The reason, I called Julia’s mom instead of Julia herself is because by this time I read the entirety of the TRO and it forbid any kind of contact (phone, email, etc…).
Julia called me back and we had about an hour-long screaming match. She wanted to negotiate, but she would not dismiss the restraining order, and she would not submit a change to the TRO that allowed me to see the children. Basically she wanted to negotiate the divorce with me while a hammer was over my head. And she wanted money and she wanted it now. I explained to her my predicament with a lawyer and told her that she had until Sunday to decide. My only condition was that she drop the restraining order and since this was her best chip, she wouldn’t give it up, regardless of how wrong or outrageous.
I called everyone I could think of in an attempt to have them convince Julia of the right thing to do. It had no effect. Rabbi Sruli told me he gave it all he’s got, but she wouldn’t listen.
I called Julia’s cousin Inna, who I felt was level headed. She listened to my story and basically told me that I needed a lawyer. Without one, I’d be in a world of hurt. Her husband Grisha told me to stop being a dumbass, stop acting so naively and treat the situation for what it is. It was good advice. For the record Inna, with her background of having a long nasty divorce, also tried to talk some sense into Julia, to no avail.
Looking back, I really did suffer quite a bit because I could not see the kids. I did see them once in the 3 week span though. On the Saturday of the first week of the TRO (or maybe the second), I calculated when Julia would be going home with the kids from the synagogue and basically “ran into” them. Eli basically threw herself at me unwilling to let go. Julia displayed a sense of evil that I could only compare to Cinderella’s step mother. She was trying to rip Eli off me. Eventually, seeing how badly Eli was crying, she allowed her to spend 2 minutes with me. Eli was trying to get re-assurance that she’ll see me again. I asked Julia if it was ok for me to come to the playground next to her place and play with Eli a bit? First she said no. I tried everything, even offered to get back together with her. Eventually, with Eli there, she said she’ll think about allowing me to play with Eli. Eli asked me to bring the cat as well. With that re-assurance, Eli let go of my foot and went home with Julia. I ran home, fetched the cat and went back to the playground. Eli was waiting for me there. The moment Julia saw me, she yanked Eli off the playground and dragged her home.
Ben just quietly absorbed the whole thing. I really felt bad for him since he just pushes all the suffering down and takes it.
It seemed that Julia was determined to play her chip and use it to all advantage. At work, I confided in a few people. One of them was Steve Patten, his wife was a lawyer. She recommended Dee Ann Newman, someone she knew a decade earlier. I went and had a consultation with her. Honestly, she did not engender an enormous amount of confidence in me. But she was ballsy as far as the promises she was making and definitely a bulldog. One thing that set off my alarm is that she felt that the judge assigned to my case was unfair to men and she wanted to file a petition to switch to another judge. My concern was that if she fails in her petition, then the judge is going to be mad at me. Be that as it may, her retainer price was $5,000. I’d have to come up with that in a few days.
I passed the information onto Julia that they money would be gone and I’d lawyer up – she had a day or two to decide. I heard nothing back. Finally, I took off on my lunch break to Dee Ann Newman’s office to deliver the check. On the way there, I get a call from Jeff Beier – the lawyer handling our loan modification. He told me that Julia came in to talk to him and confided in him the whole situation and that he’d be willing to negotiate between us. Why? Because he spent $100k on his own divorce and doesn’t want to see that happen to other people.
It seemed like a sign – I am on the way to pay a lawyer and someone calls me out of the blue offering to negotiate. I agreed. I told Mrs. Newman that we are negotiating at the moment and I have to see the outcome.
I explained to Jeff what I wanted and he seemed amenable. For the next week, we were going back and forth with proposals. One thing that seemed immutable: Julia was unwilling to drop the TRO and wanted money now. By the end of the week Jeff has given up and told me to get a lawyer. I was actually really impressed by him and the amount of work he put into it.
On Tuesday, July 14th, with one week to go before the hearing, Julia called me (in violation of the TRO) – she wanted money. I repeated that she needed to drop the TRO and then everything would go back to normal. I even dropped the demand that she drop the TRO – all I wanted was to see the children. Our conversation ended nowhere. But it did seem that the pressure was getting to her – she sounded really high strung.
I wrote a check for $5k and delivered it to De Ann Newman at lunch. Her assistant notified me that she is out of town on vacation, but will be back in time for hearing and she’ll know just what to say (despite not having a deep understanding of my case). Honestly, I was not impressed with the lawyer, but at that point my options were limited. I left the check and went back to work.
2 hours later, I get a call from Wells Fargo:
“Sir, there was a suspicious woman in the branch trying to cash your checks. We denied her because there was not enough money in your checking account. Did you authorize this?”.
“No. I did not. “, I immediately thought that Julia was behind it. “Is this suspicious woman’s name Julia by any chance”.
“Yes, it is.”
“And who is she in relation to you?”
“I see, she is my ex-wife to be”
“What would you like us to do?”
“Ahhh, do not give her any money”. I said the last part with an amount of sarcasm so massive, it could kill a small animal on impact.
And that was the end of it. 20 minutes later, I thought that I should check my balance, just in case. I logged in and saw a balance of $300. That did not seem suspicious. Why? Because in the beginning of the day, I had a balance of $5,300. And since I wrote a check to the lawyer for $5k, it seemed reasonable. The only thing that was odd is that check was cashed – why would the lawyer cash the check? They would deposit it, I would think. I put the suspicions aside and went back to work.
Another 20 minutes passed. I get another call from Wells Fargo:
“Sir, whenever someone tries to cash a check and can’t, we notify other branches to be on the lookout.”
“That’s good”.
“So we sent out an email to every nearby branch, but one did not get it in time and your ex-wife was able to cash $5,000. What would you like us to do?”
“Please call her and tell her that if she does not return the money right now, I will involve the police”.
“Sounds good. We will do that.”
“Hold done a sec, you just gave her $5k? How exactly did she get the money?”
“She handed us your check with your signature on it.”
The cashing of the 5k connected the dots for me. Julia was the one who cashed a check. That meant that De Ann Newman’s check would bounce. But I’d deal with that later.
“What?”, I was utterly confused. Julia could not possibly have my checks. I just got a new account and all my checks were at home. And I was the only one who had the key to the apartment.
I started thinking and one thing that was unclear is where did Julia get my checks? The only conclusion that I could come up with is that she broke into my place and stole them. Oh, crap, the laptop, she probably also stole the laptop, since she always wants to see what’s in my email.
Thankfully, that was easy to check, since I run a small website on my laptop. I tried to login to the website and got the “Cannot connect” error. With my suspicions solidified, I told my boss that I needed to leave ASAP and was on my way.
One thing that ran through my head was that with $5k gone, I wouldn’t be able to pay the lawyer and I might lose the TRO hearing and may not be able to see the kids for a long time to come.
Once I got on the freeway, I called the cops and told them that there has possibly been a burglary and that I was on my way. They told me that a patrol car was on its way.
Half an hour later, I arrived home and the cops were still not there. Since they told me previously not to enter the premises, I simply waited in the apartment yard. They arrived a couple of minutes later: 2 officer, one young Asian dude and the other one a portly middle aged white guy. I explained the situation to them, how I thought that the laptop maybe stolen as well, etc…. We all put on rubber gloves and walked into the apartment.
To my utter surprise, the laptop was there. Why couldn’t I access the website that was on it? The router had failed that day (it was known to fail every now and then). Next we went to see if my checkbook is still there. I fished out the checkbooks, which were still in a box that I got from Wells Fargo and went through them. To our utter astonishment, I couldn’t find any missing ones either. I was at a loss. What exactly did Julia cash?
About that time, I got another call from Wells Fargo, I put the call on the speakerphone, since I didn’t want to seem like I am hiding things from the police. The lady said that Julia showed up at yet another branch, attempting to cash some more checks. They’ve called the police and either police were on its way or they have already apprehended her (don’t remember now).
I think the cops were curious too as to what checks Julia cashed, so they connected via the handheld radio to the cops that were arresting Julia and attempted to ascertain that, with no success. They told me to sit still and wait for a call from them. I asked them what would happen to Julia and they said that she would be arrested and charged. They left.
I sat on the couch very conflicted. One on hand, I didn’t want Julia to be arrested. On the other hand, she filed a restraining order against me, took the kids away from me, and broke into my bank account. I was angry that Julia had this life going where bad acts were always going unpunished and she never learned any lessons.
In a couple of hours, I was massively antsy. I called the police department asking what’s going on – they told me to bring in the checkbooks. I fetched them the headed towards the police department.
I was really lost as to what to do next, so i thought I’ll call a few people. First I called Sruli, Julia’s Rabbi. He was not sure what to do and handed the phone to his father-in-law, the head Rabbi of the local Chabad temple. I got the distinct sense that he did not like Julia all that much (most people that have to deal with her on some business level, do not). He spoke about her learning lessons, but he wasn’t sure what to do either. I called my uncle, he basically said something to the effect of: if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Next, I called Julia’s cousin Inna. I was hoping (secretly) that she’ll organize the bail and all that. Inna was understandably floored by the turn of events. Her husband, Grisha, mentioned that staying a few days in jail will teach Julia some lessons. I asked for advice on how to break all this to Julia’s mom, no one had any good ideas. All these people (the Rabbi, my uncle, Julia’s cousin) knew the story behind the restraining order and also knew Julia very well too. Their responses didn’t surprise me in the least – they told me what I already knew for a long time: Julia really did need to be brought back down to earth, stop acting like a brat and learn some lessons about reality.
When I got to the police station, I was met by the 2 officers who came to my apartment. They brought out all the evidence: keys from my(!) car, a ton of my checks written out for various amounts (5k, 10k, 7k, etc…) with my signature faked, check from Cypress Investments for $7.4k. Once I cross referenced the checks Julia stole with my checkbooks, it all became clear. She went through each one of the checkbooks I had and ripped out the very last check. This way, I did not notice that there were missing checks, since each checkbook was perfectly contiguous.
One of the officers told me that he thought that Julia is either psychotic or just crazy. According to him, she could not understand what is it that she did wrong. I remember thinking, yeah, that’s Julia in a nutshell: rules simply do not apply to her because in her mind, she is special. The cops then told me that she’ll stay in jail for 2 days until she appears before the judge. They also told that I could not bail her out because she had a restraining order against me, that they could not hand me the kids because the TRO prohibited me from seeing the kids and that Julia might be looking at possible time. I went home.
I called Julia’s mom and explained the situation as best as I could. She was really upset, understandably. I told her that I’d inquire about visiting hours the next day and let her know.
Soon enough, my friend Tiffany arrived. Her thoughts were that “this is a gift from God” directly to me (and that I am unable to recognize signs from God even when they hit me in the face) and that I should go to court the next day, file a restraining order on an ex-parte basis and demand the kids because they have no one to be with since Julia is in jail. I was hesitant at first, because there was only one week left until the TRO hearing. But she convinced me that this would be to my advantage once we did get to the TRO hearing.
So next morning, without any experience, I set out for court. But before I left, I thought that I’ll take my court folder with me. What is the “court folder”? It was a thick folder with all the documents having to do with our divorce. Super important to my TRO case, as it had all the paperwork, all the proofs, everything. Without it, I’d have to spend the next week redoing 3-4 months of work. It was nowhere to be found. I immediately suspected Julia. I figured her car was still at the bank where she got arrested. I went there and, sure enough, my folder was on the front seat. I’d deal with this later.
I showed up at the court’s self-help center, and explained to them what I want. They told me that it would cost $120. I explained to them the situation and told the lady that I did not have the money, seeing how Julia stole nearly all of it (and the bank blocked all my accounts anyway pending police investigation). The lady told me that I’d have to ask the judge to waive the fees. She gave me paperwork to fill out and sent me to the clerk’s office. I filled out the papers and submitted them. 2 hours later, my name was called. The clerk told me that my request to waive the fees has been denied. I was like, whoa, is that what I was waiting for? I thought I was waiting for my court case to start, not to have my fees waived.
And by that time, it was too late to actually start the whole thing over. I was seriously upset. What a waste of time. I walked out to my car, called the jail and found out the visiting hours. I then called Julia’s mom to convey that and was surprised to find out that Patti bailed her out the previous night. So Julia spent a grand total of about 2-3 hours in jail.
I came home and decided to deal with my court folder. I called up Rabbi Berkovits. I asked him whether he’d be willing to communicate with Julia about my folder. He said that he simply did not want to deal with her anymore. He conveyed that he and his wife visited Julia in jail the previous night and that Julia was basically unapologetic. Rabbi then asked his wife, Rochel, whether she might be willing to work as a go-between. She quickly agreed, got on the phone with me and then told me that instead of calling Julia, as I requested, she wanted to actually go over there and deal with her and put an end to this “insanity”. I told Rochel to convey the following: “I know you took the folder from my car and I don’t want to add to the legal issues you have. I know you have it, because I saw it in your car. All I want is my court folder back. If I don’t get it, I will call the police and it will add to your legal problems.”
20 minutes later, Rochel called me: “She says she does not have your folder. Then she told me that she needs to consult her lawyer.” I did not know that she acquired a lawyer, but, I was like, just tell Julia to have her lawyer call me.
Quite honestly, I was sick and tired of never ending theft from Julia. I was tired of the ridiculous games she plays. If she stole something from me, I had never seen her return it, unless the threat from not returning it was overwhelming. She had stolen my wallet, my driver’s license (several times), other things as well. It was a bitter experience.
5 minutes later, her lawyer, Michael Kopple called. He initially spoke so fast, I literally could not understand him. I interrupted him and just told him what I wanted. I told him that I knew that Julia had the folder because I saw it in her car. I explained to him that I didn’t want to add to Julia’s problems – that I simply wanted the folder back. There was a silence on his side of the phone for a good 5 seconds.
He was like: “Wow, I am sorry. The reason I was talking so fast is because I thought that you’d hang up on me, since I was told that you are very disagreeable, thus I was trying to get through as much information as possible. Basically, the way I see it is this: folder is not Julia’s problem, staying out of jail is. And it seems that you do not want to make a federal case out of folder business. I think I can convince her to give it back to you.“
“I agree. Just to help you convince her, let her know that I saw the folder in her car this morning when I was at the bank. I had a cell phone on me…”, I was alluding that I took a picture of it. I actually didn’t, but that seemed enough to convince him that I had an open and shut case. He told me that he’d call me back in 10 minutes.
As he promised he called me back: “Ok, I think we have a deal. She’ll give the folder to her mom and you can go and get it from her.”
I said: “Fine, but it has to be all pages, because I know her MO, she’ll remove some pages and do something stupid.”
“Oh, you better believe that the folder will be in pristine condition. I specifically impressed upon her that there will be no games today. Call me when you got the folder”.
I called my friend Kevin and had him pick up the folder. Everything was indeed in place.
I called Michael Kopple back to convey my thanks. He mentioned that he was surprised that I was so reasonable in light of what he’s heard about me. I asked him what Julia is looking at.
“Quite honestly, it really depends. It sounds like you are not out for blood. Even if you were, I’d could still get her off, since she is a single mom, 2 kids, no priors, etc… If you are willing to help, then the chances of her walking away from this are greatly increased.”
“The last thing I want to see is Julia going to jail. And I’ll do whatever it takes… However, please understand that she has a restraining order out against me. I have not seen my kids for two weeks now. This has to stop.”, even though he was her lawyer, I was laying it out like it was.
“I understand. I think coming to a deal on the TRO front is very important to her criminal case. Would you be willing to let me try and me mediate between you two?”
“I honestly would not want to waste your time. Another lawyer tried this very thing last week and was unsuccessful.”
“Yes, but she is looking at criminal charges at this point”.
I let him try. He failed. It took him 2 days to realize it. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he got me the folder. In the end, Julia simply did not want to drop the TRO. And I was hurrying him as well because I had to go and get a lawyer for the TRO hearing (more on that later).
Why might I have to get a lawyer, since I already paid De Ann Newman $5k to be my attorney? Well, seeing how Julia withdrew exactly $5k from account, the check bounced with a big bang. I attempted to explain the situation to Newman and her assistants but they were being complete jerks. They were demanding the check for 2pm on Thursday. I called Wells Fargo wondering when the $5k will appear back into my account and the told me when the cops release it. I called the detective in the case, he said 4pm on Tuesday. I relayed it to Newman, but for whatever reason, she insisted on the 2pm deadline, then one of her assistants called me back and told me that she does not want to be my lawyer anymore. I was in a lurch. But it actually turned out for the good.
I called Jeff Beier. I remember him telling me that his divorce just kept on going until he hired a competent attorney who took care of business and got it done in one day. Jeff gave me the phone number. I made calls and was in the guy’s office on Friday.
These guys were the firm of Hughes and Sullivan. You could tell right the way that these guys were serious, really expensive and meant business. They wanted $8k deposit to get started. I already had $5k (since it was past 4pm on Thursday) and I had a paycheck coming the shortly. They assigned a young lawyer Teresa McNamara to get all the details from me and get all the forms filed, etc… An older gentleman by the name David Wald. Just talking to this guy instilled a massive amount of confidence.
The weekend passed without any incident. I spent the time getting all the docs ready and getting myself ready.
I arrived in court early on Tuesday. Julia was there with her lawyer (some elderly woman), Patti Lopez and Karen Hao.
Soon after David Wald arrived. We walked into the crowded court room. In the morning the judge does a quick perusal of all the cases, and in our case before letting anyone speak, he ordered that we go and negotiate after having a quick word with the attorneys. We layed out what I wanted. Kids Sun 10am to Tue 8pm, half of Cypress Equipment investment, the child support/alimony based on the state formula and complete dismissal of the temporary restraining order. Julia and her camp were having a hard time there. I saw a lot of bickering, screaming, etc... On the other hand, David Wald was just a flat out awesome lawyer. He felt totally at home and seemed to be in total command.
Eventually, after lunch, they agreed. I was, frankly, stunned. We went in front of the judge, who declared the case over. They asked Julia whether she wanted to have her maiden restored, she did not. The judge then dismissed the restraining order.
And, then, just like that, it was over. I went home, changed my status to single on Facebook, then drove to kids’ school and picked up the kids, who were really happy to see me.
